The Miracle of Love?
Do you remember the song by Eurythmics? The miracle of love – Will take away your pain. The lyrics clearly suggest that when you -as a woman- meet a man, or as it works the other way around too, when he meets wonderful you, love’s magic will dissipate all your worries and pains. When the miracle of love comes your way again, you won’t suffer from sleepless nights nor from road rage in a traffic jam anymore, stress at work and toothache will be taken away miraculously too. If only it was that easy.
Cause the fact is, it is not. On the other hand these are not just naïve lyrics. The song refers to the longing of our soul to believe in a love so strong that it enables us to overcome all obstacles. Alas, the road to thus empowering love between opposite sexes is paved with stones. What if the miracle of love strikes you and you fall head over feet? Your world is changed by the mere view of his toothbrush in your bathroom the week after. Next thing you know he is an alcoholic, a liar. A show-off. A bore? Or it turns out that, after you introduced him to all your friends, he loses interest in you.
Love’s magic dissipates quickly if you are not THE one for each other.
As well, have you ever considered the responsibility you take upon you if you are assuming the role of being the world for somebody else? To maintain your position on his pedestal, you show yourself daily from your brightest side. You are witty, you are funny too, you cook fantastic curries while your hair and nails are well done. But, as Rag’n Bone Man sings, we are only human after all. As such I am definitely not in the mood to come up with a master dish each day. I can be really grumpy and there are days when I cannot be bothered to give a single thought to my looks.
What about the miracle of freedom?
What if we don’t have to rely on anybody else to experience happiness?
To take away our pain? Considering this thought, Epicurus, an ancient greek philosopher, comes to my mind. According to his philosophy, freedom is the highest goal, pleasure is the highest good. But mind the effort: both freedom and pleasure don’t come our way miraculously. We can only attain these beautiful goals by living modestly, by limiting our desires, by being engaged in work of any kind, not by being idle. The thread of my thought is: We can be free of the pain Eurythmics sing about by taking our life in our own hands. Freedom is attained by not making the tranquillity of the mind dependent on the miracle of love.
Expecting a prince or any other human being to make our happiness is asking for too much.
We can do better than burdening a man -men too are only humans after all- with that kind of responsibility. As well there is a multitude of ways to experience love, miracles can be found in little things. Be it the sight of Canada geese high up in the sky announcing spring, a child riding an invisible horse, friends texting you at exactly the same moment you were thinking of them. The miracle of love? Kind words, a soothing hand on your arm, a text message in busy times. The beauty to return these humble offerings to your beloved ones too.